Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in iamme1163's LiveJournal:

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Friday, July 21st, 2006
12:24 am	Advice is needed At work theres a younge girl who has confronted her boyfriend about his porn addiction. He claims he no longer looks at porn however one night last week she spent the night and got up to play on the computer because she couldnt sleep and decided to look into it. Well when she looked at his internet history there where porn sites from that day and before. So she has prove he looks at porn still. What should she do? Does she have a right to say anything to him about it? She has told him looking at porn makes her feel less about herself. So by him looking at porn does that mean he doesnt really care? I need advice to give to this girl. I feel so bad for her and would like to be able to tell her something. Thank you Erin Current Mood: hopeful (Comment on this)
Sunday, June 25th, 2006
8:33 pm	Fired up! Oh my god this weekend was so amazing. I laughed and I cried it was great. They say you are starting to change when you hear someones story and you cry, well I cried a lot. But I also laughed a lot and met a lot of people I didnt know before. I feel horrible though. They asked everyone who felt they could go diamond in 36-48 months to stand up and I didnt. After it was all done I felt by not saying I was willing to do work and become diamond I am not helping others which is what I really want to do. They showed a video by a woman who takes care of abused children I had to walk out I was cring so hard. How could someone do that to their children, they human is a part of them so by hurting them you are hurting you too. I always feel like I am just not doing what I really need to do. I have dreams as I wrote in the last entry but I have bigger dreams of helping others get their dreams. I think I took 20pages of notes over a 2day meeting and I am so FIRED UP! I want to show every person I met this plan and even people I havent met yet I want to show them. I asked one of my very close friends (I have known her for a good 6years) if I could show her and you know what she dont care about it. I thought at first I had failed becuase shes a friend and I hoped she trusted me not to screw her over and then I remembered, you cant fail forward so I need to pick myself up and move on and learn from it. But when I am able to walk out of my job and never go back and Ryans able to walk out of his job and never go back I might not have time to show her this but then she'll want to see it. "People start believing in them selves when they see you believing in them" -Orrin Woodward Current Mood: energetic Current Music: Team Cuts (Comment on this)
Friday, June 23rd, 2006
4:22 pm	Wow so long since I last wrote...kinda.... Well I am about to leave for grand rapids to go to a meeting and Im excited because I KNOW it will be fun and totally worth it. I wish Ryan could go Im still trying to find the little thing to spark him. I sat in my room one day dreaming of what I want my life to look like: Wake up WHENEVER I want because I no longer work and nor does Ryan. Get up and shower and everything then get into my slivery blue crossfire and drive the country into the childrens hospital where I would go almost every day and when Im not there visiting nursing homes. After a long day I would drive back to my beautiful house and I would walk out into my 2acre garden whever you never see the same thing twice and in the middle would be the best part with butterfly bushes and fruit bushes to attract many animals and birds and there would be a little spot to just sit and read in peace and be one with everything around me. Then I would go and take long walks along the country road and talk with my neighbors about all the great things life has to offer and how amazingly beautiful is out no matter what the wheather because I am free to do what I want when I want and I am also able to 'Have fun, make money and make a difference." I also want to build an animal hospital where you can spend the night with your animal if it needs to stay over night and ALL animals are excepted and if you cant pay dont worry we work something out no animal is ever turned down. We would also be a shelter but no animal is put down and it wouldnt cost a lot to adopt and every person would be fully checked to make sure they could take it home. Thats my life that I want and one day I will have it. But first I need to work my ass off so Ryan can stay home and not have to work unless he really wants too. I Love You Ryers you are the best thing to ever happen you are mine for the rest of my life and yours Current Mood: hopeful (Comment on this)
Sunday, June 4th, 2006
10:00 am	My present from the best boyfriend ever. I had the best birthday and I was sad it had to be over. But it was great and I love my gifts. Happy birthday to me! (Comment on this)
Sunday, May 21st, 2006
8:00 pm	Just hear me out PLEASE! First off I'd like to say Im so happy for all the people getting married and starting there families. I wish all of you the best which I know you'll have. Im am getting burned out on work and the business.... Its like I wake up at 6:30am everyday go babysit Tammy's kids til 3 go to work at 4 til whenever they want but normally 10. Meanwhile trying to build Ryan's business which means talking to people seeing if they want to get involved and make money dtinking energy drinks basiclly and telling other people. Going to meetings. Im getting tired and but I cant stop. Im so happy for all the people that reach new levels every month. Tammy went as Team 10 and I cried I was so happy. I see her leave home everyday and I see Ty cry and her look like she might like when hes sick and I was just so happy to see her moving closer to being a stay at home mom and Jeff being a stay at home dad. I want to help other people stay at home with their kids but Im so scared they will say no. I have people I went to school with and I can bring myself to talk to them and share this amazing gift. I feel so selfish I keep looking at my buddy list saying this person just found out she having a baby this would be a great gift for her to join and be a stay at home mom but Im so scared of her saying no. We weren't close in high school friends a little but not enough I feel she would want to hear me out. Well Im doing talking but if anyone is interested in what I have to say then please message me and learn how Ryan is going to come home from his job if I would get guts and make it happen, learn how you can do it too, cause if I can do it a dork and loser like me dont you think you can? Erin p.s. I hope I get some guts to talk or that you are interested and will hear me out Current Mood: hopeful (Comment on this)
Wednesday, May 3rd, 2006
11:16 am	I love you Rafiki We got Rafiki in to get fixed and front declawed. They did a test for feline Leukemia it came back that he had has it. We have other cats, if he were to bit one even if they were just playing the others could get it. So yesterday afternoon we got the call he had cancer and it would be best to put him down. Anyone who knows me knows it is not possible for me to put ANY animal down. But we had to or we could lose 5more and he wouldn't have lived much longer and it would have been a hard life on him. But I miss him so much and I love him so much. But him being gone only means there is one more kitty angel in heaven looking out for the other cats of the world. R.I.P Rafiki William 4-13-04 til 5-2-06 A short life but an amazing life. We have to have Fyla tested tomorrow. She is his sister and he also got her pregnent when they were strays so she may have it. Please pray for her that she does not have cancer. I will lost if I lose 2 of my best friends in just a week. Erin (Comment on this)
Tuesday, April 25th, 2006
7:16 pm	Love Energy drinks and want to learn how to make money duying them? Root Beer Blast Added: 9/28/2005 | Updated: 9/20/2005 11:01:49 AM BevNET Review: Despite the fact that this is probably the 2000th entry into the energy drink category, XS Energy has managed to come out with something that's original -- and great tasting. As the name states, XS Rootbeer Blast uses a classic root beer flavor in its zero calorie, zero sugar formulation. We've never seen this flavor used in an energy drink and, fortunately for XS, it really works. The sweet root beer flavor has a slightly creamy flavor that's on par with a standard diet root beer. The downside of this product is its artificial sweetener aftertaste (ace-k, sucralose blend), but given that it's an energy drink, this aftertaste is an acceptable part of the placebo effect of the product. The packaging is, in our opinion, a little overdone relative to the other XS flavors, but it still grabs your attention if you are looking at the XS lineup. Perhaps the biggest negative to the packaging is that it looks like a dieter's product. We think that it will have limited appeal to younger, more active demographics. If you want to learn to make money drinking energy drinks that are good for you and recommended by dr. message me or call me Erin (Comment on this)
7:07 pm	10 Random Things 1. I dance around the house even when I know Im being watched 2. I sing songs and change the words to what I want them to be even if its not even close 3. I have drank 3 xs today and 2 is the most anyone should drink 4. Ryans shirt is missing a button and it covered by his red tie 5. I showed a plan shes going to be ryans first person in 6. Adydas is a huge ball of fluff that runs everywhere 7. Someone just got pulled over we all run to look 8. A big white bear is sitting next to me 9. I love pancakes! IHOP! 10. I cried last night for 2hrs. Tagged is: ilovejoesteiny xseeramuunx (Comment on this)
Monday, April 17th, 2006
8:54 pm	I want to get a tattoo...cause well I have for awhile but I dont like pain and Im so afraid it will hurt so bad. aia want a four leaf clover on my upper arm. Anyone got an tips or know what its gonna feel like? Any good places to go? Or other ideas on what and where (thats not painful) to get it? Erin Lynn (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, April 11th, 2006
11:50 pm	Who is my friend? I honestly want to know comment and tell me: A. If I died would you care? B. Im I got married would you come? C. If Ryan and I broke up would you care? Would you be happy? I WANT TO KNOW AND BE HONEST EVEN IF IT WILL HURT ME Ryan says he loves me, because i'm so sweet and lovable, and that i'm a good person. I buy Ryan things just to cheer him up. I found a behind the scenes vhs of ninja turtles...rock on:)! I guess Im good at making him happy. EEZY PEEZE LEMON SQUEEZE Today is 3 1/2 yrs :-) (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, April 6th, 2006
3:37 pm	You Are a Black and White Cookie You're often conflicted in life, and you feel pulled in two opposite directions. When you're good, you're sweet as sugar. And when you're bad, you're wicked! What Kind of Cookie Are You? (Comment on this)
Sunday, April 2nd, 2006
11:46 am	Whos going DIAMOND? Friday night my beautiful boyfriend, daddy and I all went down to Travese City. My daddy and I went for Go Diamond weekend and it was a blast. Ryan juat came and spent friday night since he had to work but its okay I got to curl up and sleep with him then wake up in his arms still. That is something I would love to do every single day...and how great would it be to be able to sleep in until 11am and not have to go to work? I have always been a dreamer and I cant be blamed with my life it has always been "What do we want more food or heat?" Many times in my life there was no heat, or no water, or not lights. I hated it and I dont blame my dad he worked two jobs always trying to get food on the table even if we would eat hot dogs for a month straight but he made it work and it made my family tough we dont like eachother but we are tough. I have dreams and goals. I want to reach them. I feel like so many people are trying to hold me back. The person I love the most in this world is holding me back. He doesn't believe I or we can do it and I can see it whenever I talk about being a diamond. I don't know what to do. Im always told "he'll come along give him time." But hes a major influence in my life hes my best friend. If you want to buy a new shirt and your best friend tells you that you shouldnt you believe them even if others are saying to buy it. And why? Because you feel they know you best and would try to help make you the best you. I feel like I should just give up my goals and dreams and just get a 9-5job and take the 45yr plan and after I retire work until I die just to make ends meat all over again. The 5yr sounds so nice but no one has faith in me and Im stating to lose faith in myself. I feel as thought writing this too I am going to kill my relationship with my best friend in the world but this is my liveJOURNAL and I am not afraid to write how I feel. I juat wish my best friend could get some faith in me and help me out instead of not saying anything with his mouth but with the way he acts. Ryan is my best friend and lover and I always got his back but he dont got my back I don't know what Im suppose to do...I was never told you go to college and get a job...I was told that you get a job and live pay check to pay check which is what my family did and I saw that dont work now I have the oppurtunity to not have to live pay check to pay check and everyone laughs at me and don't support me. I hope if I do have to do the 45yr plan I die before I reach the end because to work 45yrs and then retire is not the life I want to live and have people be proud of. I want to 5yr plan where I change lives and people are proud for a good reason. Im sorry for I know I have hurt people in this post but it is really truely how I feel and I havent been honest with myself in a long time. I love you Ryan Patrick and I know I hurt you and Im sorry and I hope you are not made at me but I had to get how I feel out. Im about to cry in the fear of losing you over this post. Please dont leave me Current Mood: confused (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Friday, March 10th, 2006
12:36 am	HELLO So I have been working like al the time a good 30+ hours a week but never a enough to get fuckin over time damn them fuckers! I got transfered to Fruitpost subway Im a little pissed but its more hours so I guess Im a little happy about that. I almost feel as though they didnt want to keep me but I know its not true. I had to go and have my taxs done but my social security number is wrong so now I have to go though all this shit to get them done, I cant get a credit card because my number is wrong so I cant build credit. I have been helping Ryan on his house a lot and maybe he'll get to move in soon! YAY! I have to go and get adydas de-clawed before we can move in or right after. I was sick for a day or two with some weird virus and all I did was puke and shit for like 2days and lay around. Then I passed it on to a few people and they did the same prolly. The newest thing that pisses me off is when people roll their eyes! Drives me crazy I donno why it just does. It to me its disrespectful. Well since no one reads this Im gonna stop writing this. Flippant Fleas Fornicate Frequently! Sex Toy Vending Machines? What is you opinion on sex toy vending machines? (Comment on this)
Thursday, January 12th, 2006
12:07 am	<td align="center"> Take this quiz at QuizGalaxy.com</td> (Comment on this)
Sunday, January 1st, 2006
11:38 pm	A- Age you lost your virginity? --Maybe Im a virgin B-Birthday?- -- June 3, 1987 C- Car? --I dont have a car IM A LOSER! D- Dads name? -- Bruce but I call him Daddy E- Easiest person to make you laugh? -- Ry, Laura, Heather, and Kara when we were better F- Food you eat most -- Chips and Cheese and Speghetti(?) G- Any encounter with ghosts? -- No H- Hungry? -- No often...but Im still fat I- innie or outtie? -- Innie J- Jumped in a pool with all your clothes on? -- Yeah and been pushed K- Kissing with eyes open or closed? -- Closed open FREAKS me out L- Last time you did something "bad"? -- depends on the defffition.... M- Most memorable moment you can think of in a minute? -- My one year anniversary with Ryan...going out the the bench dedicated to his uncle where he had never taken anyone and then giving eachother rings....and earlier that day I had a terrible headach and he took care of me....It wasnt much but it was...Words cant truely describe it and I knew he was mine forever I donno how I just....could tell...then we just sat in the woods listening to nature with no people or cars or unnatual things.... N- Nicknames? -- Smerins and Tiny Dancer and yoko O- Whats your most valued possession? -- Adydas or Niky...if my house burned I would truely risk my life for them (Laugh if you want) P- Who is the last person you talked on the phone with? -- Ryan Q- Quote that you feel represents you right now? -- If you drink and drive you lose....(Ryans Driving) "I'll show you my O face" R- What are you allergic to? -- Nothin...well some medication I have been on S- Song you last sang out loud? -- Sugar we're going down Am I more than you bargained for yet I've been dying to tell you anything you want to hearCaus e that's just who I am this week Lie in the grass, next to the mausoleum I'm just a notch in your bedpost But you're just a line in a song(A notch in your bedpost, but you're just a line in a song)Drop a heart, break a name We're always sleeping in, and sleeping for the wrong teamWe're going down, down in an earlier round And Sugar, we're going down swinging I'll be your number one with a bullet A loaded God complex, cock it and pull it[x2] T- Time you woke up? -- 12:45 pm V- Vegetable you hate most? -- tomato and peas (Im short) W- wrestling?!?!?!?! --Yuck! Y- Yellowcard or Green Day? -- Old Green Day Z-Zodiac Sign -- Gemini So daddy is lead to believe my mother pawned their wedding rings....without telling him and just for money...So I think they need to get a divorce. Whats you oppinion? I really wanna know what you would do if you found out your wife pawned you wedding rings just so she could have the money not for a bill but for herself.... (Comment on this)
Saturday, December 24th, 2005
11:12 pm	Hello all! Lets see what has all happened? Umm Im gonna be an aunt! My sister is having a baby Im so happy for her. She is due on July 5 but shes funny and is planning to have is on July 4th. Thats funny to me. Like can hold the baby in or push it out just cause she wants to. Christmas is tomorrow. And Im happy Im sure I wont get any presents from my parents....We had christmas for my moms side last week Sunday...We do a white elephant gift thingy and my family does not understand that a gift should be something a male or female would like..Like Ryan got a music box and I got Rollarball? My cousin got shoes size 9 and a necklace...no male would want shoes..that are HIGH HEELS!!!! What is the deal? I got a lot of stuff from Ryans parents...they are very great to me...I really like them and I think I were to marry Ryan they would be really great parents-in-law....Barry got me foldy golves! I have wanted them for a couple years. I got Ryan and digital Camcorder that is pocket size I hope he like it... My parents need to get divorced...They fight more than anything... .My mom took over $100 out of his pants. He also told her to wake him up when she got up to help but she didnt and they got in to it...My mom wont get a job she claims she cant because she dont have a cell phone(We dont have a house phone and never will) But wont use mine or my dads. She wants to cut her hair but said she cant because she need tennis shoes...Not the cheap kind but the $100+ ones...and a pre-paid cell phone....I think she has her priorities fucked up! Tomorrow I have to go to my grandmas...my grandpas bring my grandma home and it will probaly be a hard day...But I donno...They want to have dinner downstairs...and my grandma cant really make it down them...and she wont ask for help when she needs help and she say she needs to go to the bathroom until its time.... Well I hope you all have a Merry Christmas all! I love Ryan Peparika Love Erin Squins! Have a Holly Jolly christmas its the best time of the year P.S. Did you know santa is real? Current Mood: bouncy Current Music: A Christmas Story(Daddies gonna kill Ralphie) (Comment on this)
Monday, November 28th, 2005
12:30 pm	Turkey day was fun...I spent time with my family and then with Ryans...Ryan and I watched Tromeo and Juliet...I enjoy it very much.... Ryan come back from hunting with nothing :-< I went to his house before he came back and chilled with his mom...I feel weird being with his mom alone cause I dont know how she feels about me...Im afraid any wrong move could make her hate me and I really dont want that...I know his dad likes me he's always picking on me... My parents might get divorced they dont say it but I bet its gonna happen sooner than later...I dont care I'll be happy no more fighting... I love Ryan Live love and purple rubs (Comment on this)
Friday, November 18th, 2005
3:11 pm	Umm lets see... I went to see DK with Ryan and it was good...Jeff is no as hot as Jello but he did a great job. They are all so down to earth not like musican today are so that is way cool.. Everytime was goodbut driving we get lost a lot and then fight but it was still good. Ummm...My life is really boring so I donno.. Im trying to get another job so I can go to school cause Im poor and cant afford it... What really pisses me off are the people who can afford to go to college and then party all night or dont try...why because their parents will pay for it and they dont care...That really makes me mad... My grandma is doing better than she had...so thats good we can take her out of the home and she'll go back... Yesterday was my daddy birthday.. eRIN (Comment on this)
Wednesday, November 2nd, 2005
8:13 pm	Well Fyla Ann was pregnet...But she lost her baby...she only had one baby and about 4mins after having him(we are not sure if its a he but I decided it was and Flya dont care) he passed...We took him and buried him in ther side yard. We were going to take Fyla to the er vet but I had to work and no one would cover for me I was so pissed. Monday we took her in and she had an emergancy c-section and was fixed....The vet was unsure if she was having anymore babies so they did the c-section and no babies:-( We are taking Rafiki which is Fyla's brother who was also a stray to the Humane Scoiety and help him get a home....all the other aminal places are full and we can't keep him he doesnt like any of the other cats or dogs...so hes leaving.... I am thinking about getting another job so I can work both days and nights and go to school in the summer as long as Barb decides when she is going to put me on either days or nights...I donno Tomorrow Ryan and I are going to see DK Im so excited but 3hours in the car with Ryan is a little iffy...But it should go well...We went shopping for food and I was hungry so I bought a bunch of junk food...lol 12 doughnuts! Anyways, sorry i don't update often enough, y'all should call me my number is 6383665;) Current Mood: satisfied Current Music: george lopez (Comment on this)
Monday, September 12th, 2005
5:20 pm	Oh my goodness its been like a year...ok like a couple months...My dad got pissed and shut off the internet to piss my mom off...oh the joys of my family...but oh well Well Ryan and I have been together 3years yesterday....I love him...I got him spiderman stuff and I got a fish tank....we set a spending limit cause other wise we go overboard... He got me a kitten she is so beautiful...I'll have to get pictures and put them on her...Shes only 4months old..well 5months on the 5th... I got a job at subway...I like it I have only been there 3weeks but its money and thats a good thing...I work nights so come see me...The harvey street one by the mail... I guess I dont have much to say Ryans house is coming along so thats a good thing... The drive ins closed last night and they didnt have hot dogs when Ry and I went and we always get hot dogs *tear* Well I dont have much to say so... I love Ryan Erin 638-3665 Call Erin (1 Comment |Comment on this)